Gifts for Gluttons

Don’t be a lazy Santa, make gifts to give others!  Whatever happened to the tradition of making presents?  Nowadays it seems like it isn’t a real present unless you’ve spent money on it.  The value of a gift has become all about its price tag.  Making gifts for your loved ones not only sticks it to capitalism, it makes your gift more meaningful (you also avoid the mall, which is something worth its weight in gold.)  Some things are universally good gifts to give and easy to make, such as sweets.  Mind you, if you are very artistic or crafty and can pull of knitting scarves or framing an amazing photograph that you took, more power to you.  I am not crafty, so my homemade gifts fall within the realm of food and drink.

This soiree is all about getting your bros and bras together to make gourmet gifts for the people in your lives, and saving yourselves some cash in the process.  Everyone will appreciate receiving them (unless they are spoiled brats, in which case, stick to their wish list.)

You will need to purchase very few materials to make them, and what you do need to buy is inexpensive.

Use some creativity when packaging and wrapping these gifts.  Presentation puts the P in Presents.  I made that up.  Feel free to use it.

For this party you will need some kick-ass holiday tunes.  My husband is the music man and has made an incredible playlist for your enjoyment – now you just need to download  them.

• Of Montreal – Christmas Isn’t Safe for the Animals
• Pogues & Kirsty McCall – A Fairytale of New York
• Run-DMC – Christmas in Hollis
• Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)
• The Rolling Stones – Run Rudolph Run ( Keith Richard Christmas single )
• Stiff Little Fingers – White Christmas
• The Damned - There Ain’t No Sanity Clause
• The Flaming Lips – Christmas at the Zoo
• The Kinks – Father Christmas
• Sally Shapiro – Anorak Christmas
• Run-DMC - Christmas Is
• The Walkmen – Christmas Party (featuring Nicole Sheahan–unmastered)
• Thunderbirds are Now - Christmas in Hollis


I love this album cover. Along with Run-DMC's Christmas In Hollis are Merry Motherf*****g Christmas by Eazy-E and Deck My Balls by Afroman.

• Weezer - Christmas Celebration
• Prince - Another Lonely Christmas (extended)
• R.E.M. – Christmas Time(is here again)
• The Polyphonic Spree - Happy Christmas (war is over)
• Nerf Herder – I’ve Got A Boner For Christmas
• Grandaddy – Alan Parsons In A Winter Wonderland
• Death Cab for Cutie – Christmas (baby please come home)
• Clinic – Christmas
• Norm Macdonald - The Twelve Days of Christmas
• Sufjan Stevens – O Come O Come Emmanuel
• Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio – Jingle Hells Bells
• Mew - Snow Brigade
• Bright Eyes – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
• The Waitress – Christmas Wrapping
• AC/DC – Mistress for Christmas
• Beck – The Little Drum Machine Boy
• Bing Crosby & David Bowie - Little Drummer Boy-Peace On Earth (Full Version)
• Elvis Presley – Blue Christmas
• Johnny Cash – Silent Night

I have designed a festive menu to accompany the gift making.  The vegan Creamy Herbed Goat Cheese Log is so f-ing good you will want to make this weekly.  The main course is a lovely Butternut and Pear Bake.  There are Pom Mimosas to drink.  And for dessert, sample some of the delicious gifts you’ve just made!

Gourmet Gift Recipes

Sweets

Truffle Shots

Here are 4 different truffle recipes using 4 different types of booze.  They are lovely as a gift in a box of 4, 1 of each, or a box of 8, 2 of each.  Just don’t eat too many at once.  I ate about 6 Scotch Truffles one night and felt like I was going to collapse – the combo of sugar and booze really knocks you off your feet.  These will keep for a few weeks in the fridge, so make them just a few days before giving as gifts.

Scotch Truffles

• Put 8oz/250g of your favourite bittersweet vegan chocolate, chopped,  into a 4-cup glass measuring cup.
• In a small saucepan or pot, heat together 1/3 cup of vegan creamer, 2 Tbs of vegan butter, and 1 Tbs of corn syrup until the butter just melts and you see bubbles around the edge of the pan.
• Pour this mixture over your chocolate and whisk until smooth.
• Now is the fun part – whisk in 2 Tbs of Scotch.
• Put a bunch of small foil candy cups on a baking sheet and spoon 1 Tbs of truffle mixture into each.
• Bang the tray on the counter to settle the chocolate.
• Sprinkle the top with coarse sugar.
• Refrigerate 1 hour until set.

Gin Martini Truffles

• Follow the recipe above but replace Scotch with Gin and top with a shelled green and red pistachio instead of the coarse sugar.

Pirate Rum Truffles

• Follow the recipe above but replace the Scotch with golden rum and top each with a piece of candied ginger instead of sugar.

Grand Marnier Truffles

• Follow the recipe above but replace the Scotch with Orange Liqueur, such as Grand Marnier, and top with a piece of candied orange instead of sugar.

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark

• Break up 10 candy canes into small pieces.
• Melt 24 oz of your favourite dark vegan chocolate, chopped,  in a double-boiler (or, if you don’t have one, just put boiling water in a big pot, and sit a small pot with your chocolate in it on top of it and whisk until melted.)
• Pour your melted chocolate onto a cookie sheet that has been lined with wax paper and spread it out with a spatula.
• Sprinkle the crushed candy canes all over it and press in gently with your hands.
• Freeze for 5 minutes and then break into chunks.

Pan Shortbread with Green Pistachios and Cranberries

• Preheat oven to 325.
• In a mixing bowl, beat together with a wooden spoon;
• 3/4 cup of room temperature vegan butter
• 1/2 cup of sifted icing sugar
• 1/2 tsp of salt
• Once well beaten, beat in;
• 1 1/2  cups of cake and pastry flour
• Stir in;
• 1/4 cup of dried cranberries
• 1 cup of shelled green pistachios
• Pat mixture into a greased 8 inch square pan, pressing edges down evenly.
• Use a fork to pierce the dough every inch or so.
• Bake until golden, about 30-35 minutes.
• Cut into squares.
• These are freezable, so you can make them as far ahead of time as need be.

Chocolate Gingerbread

• In a large mixing bowl combine;
• 2 cups of light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup of cocoa
• 1 Tbs of cinnamon
• 1 Tbs of ginger
• 1/2 tsp of allspice
• 1/2 tsp of salt
• 1/4 tsp of ground cloves
• 1 tsp of baking soda
• Stir in 1/2 cup of boiling water, stir until dissolved.
• Stir in 1 cup of vegan butter until melted.
• Stir in 1/2 cup of molasses
• Gradually stir in 3 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour.
• Now stir in 1 cup more of flour, 1/4 cup at a time until the dough is too stiff to stir.
• Flour your hands and knead in enough of the remaining flour until it is stiff enough to roll out.
• Roll out 1/3 of the dough at a time to a 1/4 inch thickness on a lightly floured board.
• Cut into gingerbread shapes with cookie cutters.
• Place on an ungreased baking sheet and bake until firm to the touch, about 10-15 minutes.
• Allow to cool.
• These are freezable, so you can make them as far ahead of time as need be.

Homemade Mustard

Guinness Mustard

This makes a big batch due to the use of a whole bottle of Guinness.

• In a bowl combine;
• 1 12oz bottle of Guinness
• 1 1⁄2 cups brown mustard seeds (10 oz.)
• 1 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 tbsp. kosher salt
• 1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• 1⁄4 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1⁄4 tsp. ground cloves
• 1⁄4 tsp. ground nutmeg
• 1⁄4 tsp. ground allspice
• Cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit at room temperature for a few hours.
• Put in a food processor and pulse until coarsely ground and thickened, using a spatula to help get mixture off the sides.
• Transfer to jars and allow to mellow for at least a few weeks before eating.  Keeps for 6 months in the fridge.

Raspberry Mustard

• Combine in a small bowl;
• ½ cup yellow mustard seeds
• 2 tablespoons dry mustard powder
• ½ cup water
• ¼ cup raspberry vinegar
• ¼ cup apple juice
• Cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit at room temperature for a few hours.
• Put in a food processor and pulse until coarsely ground and thickened, using a spatula to help get mixture off the sides.
• Transfer to jars and allow to mellow for at least a few weeks before eating.  Keeps for 6 months in the fridge.

Wasabi Mustard

• Combine in a small bowl;
• ½ cup yellow mustard seeds
• 2 tablespoons dry mustard powder
• ½ cup water
• ¼ cup rice vinegar
• ¼ cup hoisin sauce
• Wasabi powder or paste to taste
• Cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit at room temperature for a few hours.
• Put in a food processor and pulse until coarsely ground and thickened, using a spatula to help get mixture off the sides.
• Transfer to jars and allow to mellow for at least a few weeks before eating. Keeps for 6 months in the fridge.

Infused Vodkas

You can infuse vodka with just about anything.  Here are a few of my personal favourites;

Chili Pepper and Cilantro Vodka

Excellent in Bloody Mary’s, you can’t go wrong giving this as a gift.

• Empty the contents of a bottle of vodka into an un-marked glass bottle.
• Fill with several long sprigs of cilantro and a half dozen whole red chili peppers.
• Allow to infuse a week before giving as a gift (the spiciness will increase with time.)
• Make your own label for it and include mixing instructions for a Bloody Mary.

Vanilla Vodka

• Empty the contents of a bottle of vodka into an unmarked glass bottle.
• Fill with several whole vanilla pods.
• Allow to infuse at least 2 weeks before giving as a gift.
• Make your own label for it and include mixing instructions for a Creamsicle – vanilla vodka and Orangina.
• Give with a bottle of Orangina.

Oils and Vinegars

It is super-easy to infuse oils and vinegars with various flavourings.  Just use an unmarked bottle and make your own label.  Here are a few simple ones;

• Sundried Tomato Oil – make or purchase your own sundried tomatoes.  If making your own, season them with basil, garlic, salt and pepper.  Put them in a jar and fill the jar with olive oil and add a few dried chilis.  Yum!  My Mom made me a jar of this and I was in heaven, using them on sandwiches, in salads, in stir-fries, and on pizza.  I use the oil for salad dressings.
• Herb Oil – Infuse a bottle of olive oil with long sprigs of rosemary and other herbs.  Great for salad.
• Spicy Oil - Infuse olive oil with lots of chilis.
• Raspberry Vinegar - Infuse balsamic vinegar with whole raspberries.
• Fig Vinegar- Infuse balsamic vinegar with dried figs.
• Balsamic Reduction – The best dressing and condiment there is.  Boil down several bottles of cheap balsamic vinegar until it is reduced to 1/3 original amount (or thick and syrupy.)  Allow to cool.  Put in squeeze bottles.

Other Gifts

Here are a few other ideas for the skilled;

• Make, can or bottle your favourite preserves and jams.
• Fancy cupcakes.
• Make a batch of homemade wine with personalized labels and give as gifts.

Menu

Pom Mimosa

• Put a small spoonful of pomegranate seeds in the bottom of a champagne glass.
• Add a 1/2 oz of pomegranate juice.
• Fill the rest of the glass with champagne or sparkling white wine.

Creamy Herbed Goat Cheese Log

• Preheat your oven to 250
• In a food processor combine;
• ½ cup of cashews that have been soaked in warm water for 30 minutes
• 1 brick of extra firm tofu
• ¼ cup of sundried tomatoes
• Juice of ½ a lemon
• 2 Tbs of balsamic vinegar
• 2 Tbs of olive oil
• 1 small clove of garlic
• Some fresh oregano (I used a sprig.)
• ½ tsp of salt
• Some fresh pepper
• In a small bowl combine 1 Tbs of olive oil with 1 Tbs of dried basil.
• Form your mixture into a long log and rub the basil oil all over it.
• Bake it for 40 minutes until it is slightly coloured on the outside.
• Let it cool down as it will firm up as it cools.
• This can be served warm with crackers, used in salads, spread on sandwiches, etc…
• It is wonderful served with red pepper jelly.

Goat Cheese Log En Salad

• On each plate arrange;
• Lettuce or mixed greens of your choice
• Sliced pickles (sweet or dill)
• Sundried tomatoes
• Green olives
• Chunks of your goat cheese log
• Drizzle it with oil from your sundried tomato jar, balsamic vinegar, and pepper.

Butternut and Pear Bake

• Preheat the oven to 400
• Peel and chop 1 butternut squash, 3 pears, and 1 onion
• Combine in a baking dish with 1 Tbs of olive oil, some fresh thyme removed from the sprig (I used 4 sprigs,) and some salt and pepper.
• Bake 1 hour.
• Serve with an easy Microwave Beer Bread and Sweet Rosemary Butter.  To make Sweet Rosemary Butter, combine room temperature vegan butter with fresh rosemary and some brown sugar to taste.

Tags: candy, cookies, fake cheese, preserves, roasted, tofu